Once a staple of my online ritual, personality quizzes were an early way for a young me to both reflect on and display my identity to the world. It's been years, definitely more than a decade, maybe two, since I bothered to question which homunculus I most relate with (Envy, of course) or which color M&M best represents my inner psyche.

However, this page isn't meant to ponder which of the three Powerpuff Girls are at helm in the slowly sinking ship that is my mind. For better or worse, the ways in which I stroke my ego have changed. Since this website is, after all, in service of that ego, expect it to be stroked. And as a heavily disillusioned leftie living through an ongoing, fascist coup, nothing quite massages my self-worth like a good political quiz.

Below you'll find my results and answers to a number of common ones as well as non-political quizzes that serve to illustrate something meaningful about my particular, though not entirely unique, personal operating system (POS).

Feel free to scroll through or choose an entry from the table of contents below. A small word of caution: I make liberal and cathartic use of 'fuck' and other curse words in the commentary accompanying my results. Reader discretion is advised.

— Two-Reeler, 3 Aug. 2025

First up is the OG. Over two decades old & counting, many educated people have likely heard of or have taken The Political Compass at least once, either out of curiosity or possibly even as part of their formal education. I've even assigned it to my students.

This test is sometimes treated as an objective, non-biased tool for helping a person better understand their beliefs & assisting in the formation of their ideology. It's not that. Criticism abounds, & most serious observers view it with little more esteem than your typical personality quiz. If you'd like a quick primer on its issues, the YouTube channel Second Thought has a good video detailing its problems from a socialist perspective: “The Political Compass Sucks...& What's Better.”

To put it bluntly, it has a liberal bias, & I don't mean the sort of bias the mouth-breathers shout when attacking trans rights, people of color, or whatever reactionary brain rot they've latched onto for the duration of that day. What I mean is a bias that separates our political thought into business & government, economy & authority. These are false dichotomies. I won't go into great detail--see Second Thought's video for that--but it relies on us making a distinction between corporations, think private industry, & the government. The bigger the governement, the more authoritarian a state is, and the smaller the governement, the more libertarian it is. However, under capitalism, there is no meaningful distinction. While the government is the subject of most people's ire, in America & to a similar, if lesser extent, in other parts of the Global North, the government acts in deference to the interests of capital. Capitalists & the corporations they hide behind are our authoritarians.

Don't get it. Think for moment. Upset about taxes? A hate of taxes appears to be one of the only political thoughts seriously held among most Americans. They see the money leave their account but see little from the government in return as our infrastrure ages and our population sufferes from paycheck to paycheck with no signs of salvation. If the money weren't primarily pissed away to warlords and arms dealers, perhaps opinions would differ. As it stands, however, the governement and its taxes are the obvious enemy to many. But what about all the fees forced on us by private banks, insurance companies, landlords, & the hyperparasitism of the industries that feed off their carnage--think credit collectors, loan sharks, rent-to-own stores, & even credit card companies. What about the cost of maintaining a car? How about the cost to fill it with gasoline, the burning of which is contributing to the rapid warming of our planet. Wouldn't it be preferable if we could move about without being beholden to industries that are actively upending the Earth's life support systems? What about your job? Are you truly free to do as you please, or are you chained for eight hours a day & made to smile as you're degraded & abused by people who view your suffering as an inevitability of life? They may even take pride in it. While not everyone's reality within this system, this is the world that many of us inhabit. Living at the whims of the market & the ghouls who profit from it does not make us free. We are captive consumers. Our freedom is illusory.

But I digress. If I think this about the framework employed by The Political Compass, then why would I assign it to my students & why am I covering it here? Well, while the results may not be a true identification of one's ideology, I do think its propositions are worth reviewing & considering, especially to those who haven't meaningfully considered these ideas before. I also just find taking tests like these to be fun, regardless of whether the result has any real application or not.

Below you'll find my results. They've remained remarkably consistent since high school. Depending on how closely your views mesh with mine, this could either signal that my beliefs are consistent, well-reasoned, and principled, or you might think I've stunted myself. I, of course, perfer to think its the former. Following the results are my answers along with commentary discussing my choices. I'll leave it to you to consider how well-reasoned my thoughts are.

Click here to read my answers & commentary.

Strongly Disagree	Disagree	Agree	Strongly Agree

Proposition	Answer	Commentary
If economic globalisation is inevitable, it should primarily serve humanity rather than the interests of trans-national corporations.		Duh. Though I have a difficult time imagining how economic globalization will ever benefit humanity. To me, it's clearly just an excuse to rape and defile our planet of its "resources." Even referring to the life that inhabits the Earth with such a glib, sanitized term, gives me the ick.
I'd always support my country, whether it was right or wrong.		Fuck the USA. Sincerely.
No one chooses their country of birth, so it's foolish to be proud of it.		US global hegemony is the greatest threat to peace on this planet. To be a proud American is to be blind.
Our race has many superior qualities, compared with other races.		Fuck white supremacy and all who hold that rot in their heart.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.		As a leftist living in America, I can't help but take this stance. For example, the Democratic Party has been just as thoroughly captured by capital as the Republican Party. They're just not explicit Christo-fascists like the Republicans. Though, they still do little more than throw us scraps as capital has its way with our planet. Nevertheless, keeping Democrats in power is still highly preferable to living under GOP control. I'll take scraps and at least the illusion of possibility over nothing and a path to the camps.
Military action that defies international law is sometimes justified.		Military action is almost never justified. It is an excuse for our ruling class to fatten their coffers and increase their control over the population. Read Smedley Butler's War is a Racket for a clear understanding of what war is for, straight from the mouth of one of the most decorated Marines to ever serve in the U.S. military.
There is now a worrying fusion of information and entertainment.		I worry that even this question expects too much of the entertainment consumed by many Americans. I recently watched as my uncle sat and scrolled through a barrage of 5-second reels filled with every expletive under the sun, with as many different sounds of different people shitting. A worrying degree of the entertainment consumed in this country is without any meaningful information whatsoever. The popularity of the term brain rot needs no explanation.
People are ultimately divided more by class than by nationality		Without a doubt. I have no beef with workers in China, Russia, Iran, Korea or whatever nation the US wishes us to despise next. I will never take up arms against another sad sap forced into conscription. I take the command, “Workers of the world, unite!” very seriously.
Controlling inflation is more important than controlling unemployment.		I'm not an economist, nor have I ever taken an economics class; however, it seems plain to me that controlling unemployment, that is, ensuring everyone has a way to occupy their time in a fulfilling and meaningful manner, is far more important. Our economy is a made-up system designed to allow the most gluttonous among us to rape our planet with impunity. If we strictly control our consumption of the planet's finite resources, I'm not sure inflation would be a concern, at least not in the way it is now with our highly parasitic ruling class chomping at our jugulars.
Because corporations cannot be trusted to voluntarily protect the environment, they require regulation.		There's been a nearly 70% loss in global biodiversity since 1970. Insect populations have been declining by nearly 2.5% per year, resulting in a 75% reduction over the past 50 years. Humans and our livestock now constitute 96% of the mammalian biomass currently alive, while poultry make up 71% of avian biomass. We're releasing carbon at a rate 200 times faster than the volcanic eruptions that caused some of Earth's worst mass extinctions. Consequently, we're adding the equivalent of 7 atomic bombs worth of energy to our oceans every second. We're long past this being a question. The damage these corporations have caused our planet will persist for millennia.
“from each according to his ability, to each according to his need” is a fundamentally good idea.		This was legitimately my senior quote in my high school yearbook nearly 15 years ago 0_0
The freer the market, the freer the people.		I covered this in the introduction. Again, a free market just places power in private hands. The people are no freer under the freest market than they are under any other system that privileges the few over the many.
It's a sad reflection on our society that something as basic as drinking water is now a bottled, branded consumer product.		Not just water. Everything. Humans have no legitimate right to destroy the life that inhabits this planet in service of our convenience. We pay no mind to the animals, plants, fungi, and other lifeforms—even entire habitats--raised solely to feed our gluttony. We're a sick species. I'll add, with the bottling of water and the packaging of much of these resources, these corporations are also leeching toxins-- microplastics, PFAS, and other chemicals--into resources vital to our existence. Our rulers are literally insane.
Land shouldn't be a commodity to be bought and sold.		Same reasoning as the previous answer. These ghouls have no right.
It is regrettable that many personal fortunes are made by people who simply manipulate money and contribute nothing to their society.		Without a doubt. These jobs serve no purpose but to act as parasites.
Protectionism is sometimes necessary in trade.		Globalization doesn't serve the working class. It acts as an opportunity for corporations to defang workers in the Global North by exploiting workers in the Global South. Countries without meaningful labor protections are able to undercut those with strong unions and higher pay. Allowing the offshoring of American manufacturing is one of the major reasons for the United States' decline. When the rich chase profit, we lose.
The only social responsibility of a company should be to deliver a profit to its shareholders.		I've touched on this in earlier comments. This mindset is destroying the planet.
The rich are too highly taxed.		LMFAO.
Those with the ability to pay should have access to higher standards of medical care.		Where did they get the ability to pay for the higher standard of medical care? Extreme wealth is rarely accumulated without exploiting someone or something. These ghouls have no actual right to the wealth that allows this. Regardless, healthcare should not be commoditized. Our industries--healthcare is no exception--are all littered with parasites. Excise the insurance companies, the hospital administrators, the pharmaceutical reps, the advertising agencies--all the superfluous leeches draining our pockets whenever we have the audacity to be unwell--and good medical care will no longer be a privilege afforded only to the richest among us.
Governments should penalise businesses that mislead the public.		They should be doing a lot more than just penalizing them. Nationalize them. Without exception, they all mislead the public.
A genuine free market requires restrictions on the ability of predator multinationals to create monopolies.		I disagree with this on a technicality. I would certainly prefer to live under a market system with restrictions and regulations than one without; however, to say that a free market is only “genuine” with these restrictions is just an attempt to reform a system that will never facilitate true freedom for any but the greediest among us.
Abortion, when the woman's life is not threatened, should always be illegal.		I'm an antinatalist. I am opposed to breeding--both in humans and in our domestics. Our levels of consumption cannot be sustained. Abortion is a commonsense tool to keep our numbers within a reasonable parameter. It should be legal for whatever reason the mother desires so long as the fetus is non-viable outside of the womb. I am against coerced or forced abortion, however. A woman should be allowed to make the decision that is right for her. No one else, not even her husband, should have any say in this manner. Her body, her decision. Education and cultural shifts would likely go a long way to normalizing abortion as a humane and necessary method of birth control as our planet becomes ever more hostile to life.
All authority should be questioned.		Unequivocally. That's not to say that all authorities are wrong, but no one should take the word of authority figures based on authority alone. The hierarchical structures that permeate our society are, more often than not, baseless. Many authorities have no business having authority to begin with. Always question who they are, where their power comes from, and the validity of the claims that they are peddling.
An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.		Violence merely begets more violence. Mind you, I'm not a strict pacifist. As JFK was famously quoted, "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." However, this mindset is often used to justify atrocities committed by those who hold power. See the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and the West's ongoing genocide of the Palestinians for examples. When a cornered and abused animal attacks, who is at fault? Hint: it's not the animal.
Taxpayers should not be expected to prop up any theatres or museums that cannot survive on a commercial basis.		Taxpayers should not be expected to fund our rulers' rapacious wars. The arts are among the best uses of our tax dollars. Forcing art to rely on commercial success would only further the homogenization of our culture. Give me weird shit or give me death.
Schools should not make classroom attendance compulsory.		As a teacher, I feel conflicted with this. Our schools are not what they used to be. Students are increasingly without joy or desire. Many are so phone and media addicted that even older teenagers throw tantrums when separation is imposed. I truly feel their education is hopeless. They resent any attempt we make to teach them. They are miserable, and I hate being the person enforcing their captivity. However, children need guidance. Allowing them to make critical life decisions, ones that will reverberate for years to come, is, I think, a form of societal negligence. We are failing these kids by allowing tech companies to entrap and abuse them for ad revenue. We must do something. Anything.
All people have their rights, but it is better for all of us that different sorts of people should keep to their own kind.		We know where this mentality leads. This is called “apartheid.” The only people with this mindset are those with power and privilege they'd rather not share with others.
Good parents sometimes have to spank their children.		If you must resort to violence to correct your child, then you've failed as a parent, just as a state that imposes violence on its people is a failed state. Children's actions and behaviors cannot be viewed in isolation. Bratty kids were failed by their caregivers somewhere along the line.
It's natural for children to keep some secrets from their parents.		This is a fact. Nothing to argue with. People that think otherwise are delusional.
Possessing marijuana for personal use should not be a criminal offence.		It's far less harmful than many legal substances. The Drug War is a tool of our oppression, nothing more.
The prime function of schooling should be to equip the future generation to find jobs.		This mindset is one of the reasons our schools have become such miserable places. Kids should care about learning because the world we inhabit is incredible. Most jobs serve no meaningful function other than to enrich the bosses. Schools should be instilling a love of learning for learning's sake. Wage slavery isn't a substitution for living.
People with serious inheritable disabilities should not be allowed to reproduce.		I don't believe any government should be forbidding consenting adults from reproducing. However, and I should preface this by saying that I am well aware of the sordid history of eugenics and am staunchly opposed to any direct government interference in human biological practices, but I do believe that education should be provided to the population that arms those with these disabilities with knowledge of the risks their reproducing could pose to potential offspring and offer them options to fulfil their parental desires in other ways, like adoption. Our society puts far too much importance on parenthood. I can understand why someone might desire a child despite the risk of passing on a debilitating disability--conditioning is hard to ignore--however, it doesn't make bringing a life into this planet so that it may suffer just to fulfill a role that was imposed upon you from infancy any less thoughtless. Communities are made up of all types of people who contribute. Not all of them are biological parents. As is said, “It takes a village to raise a child.” We need to change how our culture views childrearing. Children are not the belongings of their parents. They are not mini-mes born to distract from one's mortality. They are conscious beings entirely separate from their parents, with their own needs and desires. It's time we treat them that way.
The most important thing for children to learn is to accept discipline.		That's how you end up with an easily controlled population--a recipe for fascism.
There are no savage and civilised peoples; there are only different cultures.		I said “Strongly Agree” here, but only because of the usual framing. I actually do think there are savages, but it's not the indigenous tribes who typically suffer that moniker. No, the savages are the Europeans who coined the “Age of Discovery” and spread out across the planet raping, pillaging, infesting, and conquering whatever they laid eyes upon. The dominant culture of our people, what Daniel Quinn refers to as the “mother culture” is the mind of a savage.
Those who are able to work, and refuse the opportunity, should not expect society's support.		This is just an excuse for capitalists to force us to labor for them. It’s a way to shame us into submission. I grew up in rural Appalachia, a place with many hardworking, but otherwise clueless individuals who take pride in their exploitation. Like a lot of rural Americans, many Appalachians will lionize the virtues of labor even as it kills them. Anyone who is without work, suffering from addiction, or even disabled quickly becomes the bud of jokes and condescension.
When you are troubled, it's better not to think about it, but to keep busy with more cheerful things.		Ignoring your problems just allows them to fester. Look at where we are in America circa 2025. We are living through what looks so far to be a fairly successful, fascist coup. We've known what the Christo-fascists were planning for decades. And still, here we are. Ignore crises long enough, and they will eventually boil over.
First-generation immigrants can never be fully integrated within their new country.		Who cares about integration? Immigrants shouldn't integrate or assimilate. This country is only bearable thanks to cultural imports brought to its shore via its many immigrants. They are the lifeblood of America.
What's good for the most successful corporations is always, ultimately, good for all of us.		I've already covered similar questions. These corporations are actively driving the Earth's 6th mass extinction. The only good they can do is to close up shop.
No broadcasting institution, however independent its content, should receive public funding.		We fund these institutions with our taxes as a public good. The only people who argue against this are the rich wishing to divert these funds to their own ventures and the fools they continue to fool.
Our civil liberties are being excessively curbed in the name of counter-terrorism.		War does that. Wartime is nearly always an excuse to crack down on civil liberties. The US government does nearly nothing for the benefit of its people.
A significant advantage of a one-party state is that it avoids all the arguments that delay progress in a democratic political system.		True. I'm not certain I desire to live under a one-party state, especially in the United States where that party is likely to be fascist, but it's undeniable that unity and the pace of action are major advantages. China, for example, is quickly surpassing the United States. I'm sure it being a one-party state contributes to its meteoric rise in recent years.
Although the electronic age makes official surveillance easier, only wrongdoers need to be worried.		This isn't an argument. It's simply an excuse given to us by people who wish to spy on us.
The death penalty should be an option for the most serious crimes.		Punishment should focus on rehabilitation and care. There are no doubt some people who are so warped that they cannot reenter the general population, but the state has no right to end their lives. Not to mention, there's always the possibility of innocence. Killing even one innocent person in pursuit of vengeance should be unacceptable to us all.
In a civilised society, one must always have people above to be obeyed and people below to be commanded.		There's nothing civilized about hierarchy. Quite the opposite. Hierarchy facilitates oppression and exploitation.
Abstract art that doesn't represent anything shouldn't be considered art at all.		Blanket statements of exclusion like this one come from stupid, thoughtless people. Art can take many different forms and have countless interpretations. The more abstract a work, the vaster its possibilities.
In criminal justice, punishment should be more important than rehabilitation.		Our focus on punishment over rehabilitation is why our recidivism rates are so high in the US. If prisons must exist, they should be about preparing individuals to return to society. But of course, our prison system represents a multibillion-dollar industry. Rehabilitation will never be the priority so long as the crooks facilitating this system can capitalize on inmates' suffering.
It is a waste of time to try to rehabilitate some criminals.		It's never a waste of time to help people better themselves. We all exist on this planet with varying levels of confusion. We should be working together to enhance our understanding of the world and all that inhabit it. Mindsets like this one take hold in those consumed by fear and hatred. These are not healthy opinions to have.
The businessperson and the manufacturer are more important than the writer and the artist.		The businessperson and the manufacturer are driving our planet's destruction. They act as a cancer, slowly spreading and killing the Earth. We need many fewer of these ghouls and many more writers and artists who can inspire humanity to action against the system at war with the Earth.
Mothers may have careers, but their first duty is to be homemakers.		Careers are overrated, but mothers can play whatever role they wish in their family. Same for fathers. Gender has no bearing on how we love and care for each other.
Almost all politicians promise economic growth, but we should heed the warnings of climate science that growth is detrimental to our efforts to curb global warming.		I'm not aware of a single politician who treats climate change with the seriousness it demands. We're living through a multifaceted crisis that to address in any meaningful way would require a level of global collaboration never before seen in our species' history, not even during both World Wars. I have no hope for the future of our planet or of humanity.
Making peace with the establishment is an important aspect of maturity.		You don't make peace with your oppressors.
Astrology accurately explains many things.		lol
You cannot be moral without being religious.		lol
Charity is better than social security as a means of helping the genuinely disadvantaged.		This isn't even debatable. A preference for charity is just a means for the rich to avoid the high taxes necessary of them to fund social safety nets. Charity is a lot cheaper for them and far less effective for those in need.
Some people are naturally unlucky.		Sounds like a deflection meant to excuse excessive poverty existing beside obscene wealth.
It is important that my child's school instills religious values.		Schools should instill critical thinking so that children may shed their baseless and regressive religious values.
Sex outside marriage is usually immoral.		We're animals. This sort of thinking is insane, harmful, and frankly, embarrassing.
A same sex couple in a stable, loving relationship should not be excluded from the possibility of child adoption.		Queer people make excellent parents. I won't say this is true for all, but it's certainly the case that queer people are far more accepting of differences, and all kids need accepting and loving parents to be the best version of themselves they can be.
Pornography, depicting consenting adults, should be legal for the adult population.		“For the adult population,” is the key phrase here. We badly need to find a way to keep kids from consuming copious amounts of objectifying pornography. Elementary school teachers are reporting classroom choruses of young boys faking female orgasms. It's disgusting and it's giving these kids horrible views on sex and women. I should also add that the porn industry, like any, needs to be strictly regulated to ensure the health and safety of the workers. That is not the porn industry as it currently exists.
What goes on in a private bedroom between consenting adults is no business of the state.		No doubt. Only fascist fucks care about this.
No one can feel naturally homosexual.		This is the claim of someone living in a fantasy. There are over 13.9 million queer people in the USA. That's the evidence. That's reality. Just because someone refuses to believe someone else's lived experience doesn't make them any less delusional.
These days openness about sex has gone too far.		I'm no prude. However, children should not have access to the hardcore, objectifying content that they scroll through daily. If I'm being honest, a lot of this content is little more than the exploitation of women. It is not liberation. It is objectification. It is commodification. That said, women should be free to present their bodies and/or their sexualities however they please. No one, certainly not men, have any right to say otherwise.

• 8values
• LeftValues
• Prism Political Quiz
• Typology Quiz by Pew Research Center